Guilt By Association...

I feel guilty... almost, like I was cheating on a friend. I should have checked in Friday night or, certainly, some time on Saturday: Maybe, even this morning. But, I definitely feel like I should have checked in...

What does that feel like? Well, it kind of feels like 'playing hookie.' (Does anyone still call it that? Has that expression been lost somehow, like so many of the other expressions I grew up with: A victim of "generational context?"). Whatever it is: it feels like you really should be somewhere else, doing something else... that you're not!

Now, the entire weekend has gotten away from me and I feel as if I've been untrue somehow. Trying to rationalize it all, I know I shouldn't feel this way. After all, it's not like I spent the weekend in bed or sprawled out on the couch. I didn't! I swear it!

In fact, I didn't even get to watch the whole Super Bowl: just the first Quarter - which I watched while visiting my Mother; and, then the last two Quarters and the end of the game, at home. I was driving home while the Second Quarter - Perhaps, the best Quarter, if you are a Saints fan - was being played.

To some degree, at least: that's the heart of the problem! I'm always running somewhere to do something: something, it seems, I absolutely must do - and, generally, for someone else and not me!

Do I have to tell you how frustrating that can be? I didn't think so! Especially, when you start off exhausted most Friday nights. That exhaustion is almost always the result of a fifty-five or sixty hour work week: and, that's just the hours spent at work Monday through Friday. It doesn't count all the 'stuff' you have to... Or, at least, I have to do on the weekends in order to stay current. I think that's what makes it so hard. You come home completely "torched" Friday after work and then you find yourself desperately trying to cram five quarts of everything into a one gallon container for the rest of the weekend.

The cold hard truth is; it won't fit... At least, not without making a mess!

So, it was off to the shop Saturday morning for at least a couple of 'quiet' hours: productive hours. Home for some errands... Swimming at the "Y" for me!

Did I mention that I started swimming. I wanted to say: Did I mention that I started swimming again, but the fact of the matter is... what I was doing before wasn't really swimming. It was more like not drowning than it was like swimming! Now, I'm actually trying to teach myself how to move through the water as effectively (and, gracefully) as I can while expending as little energy as possible. That means learning how to breathe as well as the other, more technical elements of swimming like proper kicking, arm movements, body position, et al. And, Saturday was the best time in the water I've had so far!

I didn't get as tired as fast as I have in the past. I was able to keep my heart from exploding. I did more laps with more different strokes - I wonder if that's where the expression came from? And, I wasn't as sore this morning. Consequently, I'll be there again tomorrow morning before the sun gets up!

After the pool, it was off to volunteer at an event where my wife works. And, then, out with some of the other volunteers afterward.

I know there was other stuff... But, to tell you the truth, there was so much of it I can't remember what it was!

Today was more of the same. Only we managed to visit my mother some fifteen or twenty miles away, ran some more errands, got some more work done, watched a little football, and did some more work.

Now, I'm finally checking in again.

Outside of going to the "Y," I can honestly say that nothing I did was for me. At least, not in the sense that it was only for me. In fact, just about everything I did was done for some other person or organization.

I'd like to make the argument that it shouldn't be that way, but I can't. Although, I'm not sure how much rest I really allowed myself, everything I did felt 'right' somehow. Everything I did, albeit, for someone or something else - needed to be done. So, I guess it's a good kind of exhaustion: the kind that helps heal the world... And, that really does make it OK. At least, it does for me.

And, if I am guilty of trying to do too much, it's a kind of guilt by association, I suppose. Guilty of doing too much of the right kind of things, things that really do need to get done... And, guilty of associating with the right kind of people, the kind of people who do the right kinds of things because they are the right things to do.

Now, it's off to bed... and, finally, some rest!

Complacency...

There are few things in the world that get me crazier than average. Average drives me nuts!

No one I know strives to be average, at least no one I actually want to know or continue to have a relationship with.

Striving to be average is all about giving up, coasting, taking the easy way out, accepting 'good enough' as good enough. It's about complacency... accepting things as they are because doing nothing is less complicated and takes far less energy than doing anything.

I'm not talking about someone who is trying the best they can but can't prevail because of circumstance, limited opportunity or limited ability. I'm not talking about the people who can't do any better or try any harder... By definition, they are trying as hard as they can to be the best they can be; to do the best they are capable of doing.

I'm talking about the people who could make a difference, who could do better: but, after careful consideration, choose not to. Generally, at the risk of putting themselves or someone close to them in danger of some sort. They would rather work at 'getting by,' than work at getting better. And, I think what bothers me most of all about this social or cultural phenomenon is that it seems to be growing.

People come by the shop to take an order or solicit our business either representing themselves or other companies and they just barely manage to follow the script as if showing up was enough. They don't bring anything of value to the relationship, they don't create anything of consequence, they don't move information up or down the pipeline. Hell, sometimes they don't even say Hello!

I can't live like that. I don't think I would even if I could: could, as in allowed. I'm not wired that way and neither are any of the people I work with. They are constantly trying to learn more, get better, accomplish something significant, overcome obstacles, attain success. Now, they may choose to define success a little differently than the majority might define it. Their success isn't always about 'stuff' or money. More often than not, it's about that feeling of satisfaction that can only come from doing something extraordinary. And, extraordinary rarely occurs without a serious compliment of exertion.

I think the answer is not only simple, it's obvious. This level of performance - Or, perhaps, more appropriately - this level of non-performance, should no longer be accepted as adequate by anyone anywhere anymore. Complacency should be banished, and its practicioners and advocates no longer tolerated or accepted.

I think I'm going to give it a try... And, the sign at the driveway will read: Average No Longer Tolerated Here!

THE WORLD BETWIXT AND BETWEEN...

I spend a lot of time in the uncomfortable world that exists between the real and the ideal… a world suspended somewhere between imagination and experience. Perhaps, too much time if I made the choice to honestly assess where I am and what I am doing at any given moment during the day or at night.

That isn’t to say I’m an escapist or that I’m not tethered tightly to the real world. I am definitely not an escapist. I’m not running away from reality. I’m just trying to bend it a little. And, yes, I am tethered to the real world: tightly tethered! But, that doesn’t mean I’m not thinking about ways that world could be or should be, either. Frankly, I think we should all be doing a lot more of that kind of thinking.

I'm a realist: a pragmatist. I have to be. I work on automobiles and trucks: or, at least, I did for most of my adult life. Now, I run an automotive repair shop... Or, it runs me! I have employees. I have responsibilities. I have kids: grown kids, but still my kids, nevertheless.

I am a senior contributing editor with two deadlines a month. In other words, I have all the real world anyone could want... or, handle. Maybe that's why I am continually drawn to the world of "Could Be" or "Should Be:" a world of theory, a world of supposition and conjecture.

So, you won't hear me complaining a lot. Nor, would I expect anyone to listen if I did. This is where I choose to live.

It is a world of books and magazines and articles and lectures and seminars, written and presented by a host of individuals, most of whom I’m not sure I agree with all the time: hence, the discomfort.

Why do it if it makes you uncomfortable? Well, because… Because, it forces me to think and by thinking I improve the quality of my living: the quality of my life, despite the discomfort. In other words, most of the time it is time well spent and proves more than worth it!

And, the pain? Well, the pain comes from continually trying to move the needle, raise the bar, in my industry: the automotive service industry. The pain comes from continually trying to explain the inexplicable to a motoring public with little patience and less interest; from trying to improve the current reality of shop owners and technicians in a culture that does not appreciate the important role we play in ensuring personal mobility and freedom, and reinforces the fact that I am still here, still alive…

Living between the real and the ideal does something else for me, I guess. It just about guarantees that I will never have to wonder about my existence… The pain is a constant reminder I'm still here, and the other side of that pain; the satisfaction and the joy experienced when you are successful and someone who has read what you have written, listened to what you have said, thought about what you have suggested, joins you in the world betwixt and between because they realize as you do, it is the bridge between the past and the present: a bridge between the present and the future! And, you realize, you finally have a little company!