It's Not... But, It Could Be

I did something last night I rarely do. I watched television: specifically, the premier of the new HBO television series, Newsroom.

It may not sound like a big deal to those of you who watch television, but television and especially serialized dramas are a luxury I refuse to allow myself. Evenings are when I read or write or research or plan or develop or sometimes just sit and think, and lately there hasn't been a lot of 'thought provoking' or even entertaining television to watch.

I'm not sure the majority of so-called reality shows would or could qualify as 'thought provoking.' So far, none of the ones I've forced myself to watch have. I certainly don't have to watch the glut of reality shows currently filling the airwaves to immerse myself in drama if that's what I choose to do with my time. All I have to do is show up at the shop and I have my own 'reality show: a show I get to produce, direct, star in, and, yes, even watch!

Aside from that, I don't want to get hooked on something I know I won't have the time to watch because I've dedicated that time to something else. It's too frustrating and I'm at a point in my life where frustration almost always degenerates into anger or resentment.

Consequently, I aggressively avoid watching television of any kind.

I've been marginally successful. That is, up until last night. Last night the fates conspired against me. I tried to write, but couldn't find the melody or the rhythm I was looking for. I tried to read, but couldn't quiet the noise in my head sufficiently to concentrate. So, I took my shower and got ready for bed just in time to watch the last twenty minutes of Newsroom. It was riveting. It was intelligently written. It was timely. It was provocative. It was, in fact, just about everything television could be. Or, more appropriately, could have been and isn't.

I had a long list of things I wanted to do after dinner this evening... Important things, like finishing a column, scripting a new webcast, developing an idea for a colleague and the association we both belong to. Instead, I pulled Newsroom up on the DVR to catch what I had missed and instead watched it from beginning to end.

There are lots of things I could say about it, but I think I'll stick with the two that impacted me the hardest: the two that have the most to say to us as a people, a country and a culture. The first spins off what I think may have been the first episode's title: "We just decided to..." And, the second, has to do with a message the female lead had for Jeff Daniels, the male lead: "It's Not... But, It Could Be."

You're going to have to watch the pilot on HBO or search for it on YouTube or someplace else to see how Aaron Sorkin, the writer, managed to weave those two ideas into the story line. I'll just tell you that it's worth the effort. Then, I'll let you know what they had to say to me.

"It's Not... But, It Could Be!" spoke to a realistic assessment of where we are as a nation: as a people. You and I could just as easily use that phrase to assess where we are as an industry. It's not the best industry or the most satisfying. It's not the most profitable or the most rewarding. At least, not for the majority of those who struggle just to get by day-to-day. But, it could be...

It could be if we put aside our differences and instead focused on the things that  we have in common: that we can all agree on. It could if we found a way to celebrate our shared values instead of focusing on the issues that divide us.

How do you do that? I think it's probably clear that we have the knowledge: the understanding. We just need to decide to do something with that knowledge. The fact of the matter is, we just need to DO SOMETHING!

The same can be said of or for our Nation. We aren't what we once were... One nation indivisible.

We may be better than most, but we seem to have lost sight of what we could be. The fact of the matter is, we could be better: in many ways, for many of our people. But, to regain that greatness we need huge, virtually unattainable goals: goals so big our differences become inconsequential in their shadow.

Then, all we would have to do is decide: decide to move forward... as individuals, as an industry, as a Nation, as a People.

It's risky to suggest we aren't what we could be, that we have not realized our potential: that we've somehow become lost along the way. I'm sure there are many who would disagree. But, as a diagnostician: a pragmatist, I look at the possibilities each set of beliefs drags along with it before making a decision.

Continually striving to achieve: to reach unattainable heights, achieve impossible goals, provide unparalleled freedoms has brought us to this moment. The kind of arrogance that suggests there are no more mountains to climb, no more challenges to confront: that all is left is desperately clinging to what once was leaves us all with only one direction in which move.

Watch Newsroom, then tell me what you think 'isn't,' but could be. Tell me what we should  decide to do: as an industry or for our Nation.

Till then... Stay well. Take Care. Make money. Have fun. And, don't do business with anyone you don't like... There's probably a good reason you don't like 'em and you don't really need to find out what that reason is!

It's Not Fair

When our daughter was little and she didn't like something I said, the restrictions I imposed or the limits I placed on her, she would do what affectionately became known as the "It's Not Fair! Dance."

It was a site to behold...

This beautiful child with an angelic smile and the cutest pigtails you've ever seen, would turn red, contort that beautiful face, plant one foot firmly on the ground and then ratchet herself around in a circle, stamping one foot on the ground, pumping her fists up and down and screaming at the top of her lungs, "It's Not Fair!"

The more frustrated and angry she became the harder it was to take her admonitions seriously. There were times I actually had to look away rather than break out in what would have been a very inappropriate outburst under the circumstances. And, that sensitivity, the realization that as comical as daughter's behavior might have been it was the result of some very serious frustration, anger and anxiety - all of which were very real to her.

Well, I feel like it's my turn to do the "It's Not Fair! Dance"today. I know it won't accomplish anything. I know it's not going to change what happened. Nor, is it likely any good could come of it. But, realistically, I'll bet the exhaustion that followed such an outburst and the release of all that frustration and anger, anxiety and angst, would have to leave you in better shape than just bottling it all up and keeping it inside.

Besides, it's not like we're at a loss of things likely to torment us... There are days Dante's Inferno would probably seem like a pretty good choice for a vacation spot!

The reason I want to plant my foot and bounce around in a circle screaming "It's Not Fair!" today is the one accident our business has experienced in just about twenty years and what it just did to our Worker's Comp Insurance. One accident in twenty years, with an otherwise spotless record - Admittedly, a mildly serious laceration to one finger, something no technician wants to comtemplate - and, our rates are about to go up 47%.

I know... That isn't very fair, is it? And, that's the rub. The prison is being run by the inmates with more crooks and charlatans in positions of responsibility, authority and power than there are honest, thoughtful, reasonable people to fight the lunacy.

One accident: twenty years: 47% increase in premium... Well, it doesn't seem fair to me and I'm not sure what to do short of 'the Dance.'

I understand the need to protect our employees: all employees, for that matter. It's the right thing to do. I understand there are those who would brutalize the system through abuse. But, I'm not one of them. I just want to fix cars, take care of our customers, take care of the people who have cast their fate with mine and live a relatively simple yet productive life. It's hard to do that in our business when your overhead is about to increase by $700 a month!

It's hard to do that when Comp is based on Payroll and the only reasonable way to control the cost is to reduce the overhead and that means laying people off! Not exactly the way to end a Recession, is it?

So, here I am at sixty-five feeling like a five-year-old: jaw locked, teeth clenched, fingers curled into a ball and the vein in my forehead about to burst, begging to plant that left foot in the ground, ready to start singing and dancing.

I want to be five and my daughter and scream, "It's Not Fair!" But, I know it won't do any good. There is only one of me and one of me isn't enough to tilt against that Windmill. It would take all of us... All of us in every State... To stand up and say, "It's Not Fair! You can't get rich on our backs any more! You can charge a fair premium for the service you provide, but it will have to reflect your record and not just a random mischance of fate. And, you certainly are NOT entitled to make back your loses no matter how large or small in a period of time so small it constitutes and unfair burden on your insureds!"

I don't know about you, but I've had enough!

OK, ok... I know... Calm down! But, you know something... It's hard to remain calm when the insurance companies are making more money than they have ever made in the past and the people they insure are working harder, making less and struggling more than at any time in history.

So, are you ready? Are you ready to stomp and shout and raise a little hell? If you are, all you have to do is plant that left foot, scrunch your face up a little, clench your fists and then slowly, yet methodically, take your right foot, raise it up and then set it down hard just a few inches in front of where it was when you started, and howl at the top of your lungs, "It's Not Fair!"

It may not change anything, but I'll bet you feel better when you're done!

The Last Place I Looked...

I just spent the better part of two-and-a-half hours looking for a piece of paper, albeit an important one...

I went through my desk in the back office: the office that was my Mother's not all that long ago... I went through every drawer, meticulously emptying everything; then, putting it all back. I found "stuff" that hadn't been touched by human hands in a decade! I found "stuff" I've been looking for - OK, not all that aggressively - but, still: "stuff" I was actually happy to have found.

Unfortunately, none of it had anything to do with my quest.

I cast my eyes to the double-wide, sliding door cabinet immediately to my left. Again, I found "stuff" that would actually be considered 'classic' in another year or two, other "stuff" that qualifies as 'antique' even now. I've filled and emptied two five-gallon garbage cans twice. That's twenty gallons of paper and junk in what's supposed to be a "paper-less society!"

Still, that one wicked, miserable, folded, "safely stored" and elusive sheet of paper mocks me!

In frustration, I took the cabinet to my right apart: rearranged the binders, threw out more useless paper and more than a few ancient periodicals... I even dusted while I was in there just to make it looked as if someone was actually in there.

People standing at the counter stared at me shaking their heads, wondering... "Who is that maniac in the office? Is he OK? Does he know he's mumbling to himself? Someone ought to watch him so he doesn't hurt himself..."

The afternoon summed up in a word: Unsuccessful!

The harder I look, the more frustrated I get: the more frustrated I get, the harder it is to look.

Pretty good definition of a "Vicious Cycle" if you ask me!

It's my fault... I know it and have no excuse. Explanations, perhaps. But, excuses? None...

You see, I have a bad habit... I write things down to ensure I won't forget them.

You're probably thinking to yourself, what's wrong with that? Writing stuff down so you won't forget is a good habit, not a bad one. I'd agree, the only problem is how and where I write things down. I collect 6"x9" notebooks... lots of them.

I've always got one with me - Well, just about always. The only problem is because I have more than one and because I tend to leave them everywhere so I don't have to look for one when I need it, it's not always the same one I just finished writing in.

That can make consolidation a real adventure and retrieval damned near impossible!

I went home last night thinking - and, writing - about all of this. I gave up my quest and was actually able to reconstruct the information I searched for all afternoon from memory, in part because I had written it down at some point.

I'll probably continue to look because frankly, I can't help myself. And, ultimately, I'll find what I'm looking for. I'm sure of it...

We'll meet somewhere... Here at the shop, perhaps at an industry event some time in the future and you'll stop me and probably ask if I ever found that elusive piece of paper and I'll probably answer, "You know, I did! It was in the last place I looked!"

And, then you'll probably just stare at me and say, "Of course, it was! How many people do you know who keep looking for something after they've already found it!"

Absent With Good Cause...

I just finished writing a piece for Auto-Insights, our newsletter at the shop, and “tweaked” it just a bit so it would work here in Counter-Intuitive. It is titled, “Creative Tension.”

Creative Tension is the sensation we experience as we move from the “Current Reality” we know toward our Vision for the future: a Vision whose reality, no matter how clear or carefully thought out will still remain largely unknown and as a result uncomfortable.

It’s hard to write about something like that without considering your own “Current Reality” and the “Creative Tension” that seems to fill every empty crevice of your life: hard, if not impossible. Especially, when that “Creative Tension” is always more stressful and anxiety-laden then you think it ought to be. One of the primary sources of that tension has to do with another interesting principle – something I try mention every time I’m in front of an audience doing the presentation work I do.

The principle is “Loss of Opportunity” and it’s something everyone doing presentation work is familiar with. The concept is simple enough… If I say I’m going to be somewhere, doing something – what I’ve really done is acknowledge the fact that I can’t be anywhere else, doing anything else; at least, not at that at that particular time or place.

It’s so much a part of the world of presentations and speakers it is generally addressed in the contract requiring the host to compensate the speaker in the event of a cancelation, recognizing the difficulty “filling” that space at the last minute constitutes. However, Loss of Opportunity impacts just about every one of us.

All of us are forced to make difficult choices when it comes to allocating our time, especially today when with the intense pressure of so many worthwhile and competitive demands. Doing this means we can’t do that… Being here means we can’t possibly be there… And, not doing that: not being there, almost always means we are ultimately going to frustrate or disappoint at least one other person, even if that one other person is us!

I experience the frustration, disappointment and tension associated with Loss of Opportunity all the time, especially when I’m trying to reconcile “Want To’s” with “Have To’s.”

Unfortunately, one of the best examples of that is this blog – Which is, most assuredly a “Want To!” I like writing here and experience a fair amount of frustration when the fates and my own lack of planning forces large gapping spaces between entries. It doesn’t matter how important the reason, how necessary the absence… You just can’t be in two different places doing two different things at the same time no matter how appealing or important. It is both physically and emotionally impossible.

This time, it was a ten-day business trip to Florida to both attend and present at two different, yet very similar automotive aftermarket conferences. I suppose I could have found a little time to write at least something. But, quite frankly, I was so immersed in everything that was going on around me - including a little R&R at the 'Happiest Place on Earth" - it never occurred to me; at least, it never occurred to me when I had the time or the opportunity to think of something I felt worthy of sharing. Before that, it was the weeks of preparation ramping up for the conferences combined with constantly thinking about actually getting up in front of hundreds of my peers the eleven times I would be sharing the two presentations I created for both events.

It seems there is always something looming in the background: some “Have To” that inevitably takes precedence over this very enticing “Want To.” And, while I’d like to think I was absent with good cause, the fact remains that for whatever reason, I was gone, nevertheless.

I’ve decided that going forward I’m going to try my best to be more consistent, even if it means just checking in as often as I can with what “Sweet” Dick Whittington, an old L.A. drive-time Disc Jockey, called “Clean Thoughts on a Dirty Wall.” That way, even if I am absent with good cause, we can still keep in touch and you can still remain an integral and important part of my life…

A Difficult Day...

Today was a difficult day... Actually, it wasn't today... as in: Sunday the 21st. Today was a difficult day as in: Thursday, February 17th - that's when I started writing this and the fact that it took four days to get it down on paper might suggest just how difficult it was!

Not for any special reason. Just, because...

It started out that way, and once begun, I guess there was just no way to effectively turn things around. Another day of re-acting, rather than acting. 

I'm not a big fan of days that begin this way. They result in far too much philosophical reflection as far as I'm concerned. And, realistically, I would rather be "doing" than "thinking" anyway!

There was no indication I would be sailing with the "Tidy Bowl Man" when I awoke this morning. In fact, I felt pretty good. So good, I decided to dine out for breakfast and a turkey sausage and egg soufflé at Panera sounded absolutely wonderful. Those of you who might be following this blog already know that eating breakfast out was a family ritual for more than thirty-eight years. It was the best way my father could find to keep the family in our family business, and it worked. However, since I'm the only Schneider at Schneider's Automotive these days, dining out has lost a lot of its significance and consequently, its appeal.

Instead of anxiously looking forward to the sense of community breakfast provided first thing each morning, I find myself eating out when being alone and reflecting on the last few days or planning for the next seems somehow necessary or more important than working out or sleeping in.

This morning was one of those "reflective" mornings... At least, it did until I found someone from the original breakfast club sitting down at my booth.

Please don’t misunderstand! I like this person. I really do! I just didn’t want company THIS particular morning and things just naturally seemed to go to hell from there. She can be a bit negative at times: Why am I doing this? I hate it! I want to retire… NOW!

That kind of negativity can be contagious and this morning, I caught it!

After arriving at work there were problems with suppliers, customers, equipment and technicians… just about my whole universe when you think about it. Even one of the dogs was limping when I got in: an open sore on his right front paw which meant an unscheduled trip to the Vet.

There was a time when me at the nexus of all of these things coming together would have been more than enough send me into the bathroom for a serious attempt to drown myself in the toilet, but the way things were going I was pretty sure it would just back up, and…

I think you get the visual.

That being said, I’m not the same person I was a number of years ago when my reaction would have been less than mature, or adult, or even appropriate.

Now, I just try to back up a little and reflect… Reflect on what just happened... Reflect on why it may have happened… Reflect on the role I may have played in causing it to happen… You get the idea.

Instead of internalizing everything, I try to back away at least a little and process it all with an: “Isn’t that fascinating…” Or, two. You would be surprised how much of a difference not taking these kinds of problems personally can really make on your day, especially when they seem to be occurring minute-by-minute and with frightening regularity.

What makes it all worse is being a professional technician by trade. I’ve spent my life ‘fixing’ stuff and problems like these fall into the “This needs fixing NOW!” bucket. The only problem is that not everything in the bucket can be fixed right now… As a matter of fact, not all the broken things you are likely to encounter can be fixed at all; At least, not by you!

You see, if it wasn’t ‘yours’ to break, it isn’t likely you’re going to be able to ‘fix’ it: I mean, really fix it! You may find a work around or two, but “Fixed?” I don’t think so! The people who broke it are going to have to fix it – and, that’s only fair.

And, the minute you begin to realize that a day that started out to be difficult can get a whole lot easier… And, it did!

Guilt By Association...

I feel guilty... almost, like I was cheating on a friend. I should have checked in Friday night or, certainly, some time on Saturday: Maybe, even this morning. But, I definitely feel like I should have checked in...

What does that feel like? Well, it kind of feels like 'playing hookie.' (Does anyone still call it that? Has that expression been lost somehow, like so many of the other expressions I grew up with: A victim of "generational context?"). Whatever it is: it feels like you really should be somewhere else, doing something else... that you're not!

Now, the entire weekend has gotten away from me and I feel as if I've been untrue somehow. Trying to rationalize it all, I know I shouldn't feel this way. After all, it's not like I spent the weekend in bed or sprawled out on the couch. I didn't! I swear it!

In fact, I didn't even get to watch the whole Super Bowl: just the first Quarter - which I watched while visiting my Mother; and, then the last two Quarters and the end of the game, at home. I was driving home while the Second Quarter - Perhaps, the best Quarter, if you are a Saints fan - was being played.

To some degree, at least: that's the heart of the problem! I'm always running somewhere to do something: something, it seems, I absolutely must do - and, generally, for someone else and not me!

Do I have to tell you how frustrating that can be? I didn't think so! Especially, when you start off exhausted most Friday nights. That exhaustion is almost always the result of a fifty-five or sixty hour work week: and, that's just the hours spent at work Monday through Friday. It doesn't count all the 'stuff' you have to... Or, at least, I have to do on the weekends in order to stay current. I think that's what makes it so hard. You come home completely "torched" Friday after work and then you find yourself desperately trying to cram five quarts of everything into a one gallon container for the rest of the weekend.

The cold hard truth is; it won't fit... At least, not without making a mess!

So, it was off to the shop Saturday morning for at least a couple of 'quiet' hours: productive hours. Home for some errands... Swimming at the "Y" for me!

Did I mention that I started swimming. I wanted to say: Did I mention that I started swimming again, but the fact of the matter is... what I was doing before wasn't really swimming. It was more like not drowning than it was like swimming! Now, I'm actually trying to teach myself how to move through the water as effectively (and, gracefully) as I can while expending as little energy as possible. That means learning how to breathe as well as the other, more technical elements of swimming like proper kicking, arm movements, body position, et al. And, Saturday was the best time in the water I've had so far!

I didn't get as tired as fast as I have in the past. I was able to keep my heart from exploding. I did more laps with more different strokes - I wonder if that's where the expression came from? And, I wasn't as sore this morning. Consequently, I'll be there again tomorrow morning before the sun gets up!

After the pool, it was off to volunteer at an event where my wife works. And, then, out with some of the other volunteers afterward.

I know there was other stuff... But, to tell you the truth, there was so much of it I can't remember what it was!

Today was more of the same. Only we managed to visit my mother some fifteen or twenty miles away, ran some more errands, got some more work done, watched a little football, and did some more work.

Now, I'm finally checking in again.

Outside of going to the "Y," I can honestly say that nothing I did was for me. At least, not in the sense that it was only for me. In fact, just about everything I did was done for some other person or organization.

I'd like to make the argument that it shouldn't be that way, but I can't. Although, I'm not sure how much rest I really allowed myself, everything I did felt 'right' somehow. Everything I did, albeit, for someone or something else - needed to be done. So, I guess it's a good kind of exhaustion: the kind that helps heal the world... And, that really does make it OK. At least, it does for me.

And, if I am guilty of trying to do too much, it's a kind of guilt by association, I suppose. Guilty of doing too much of the right kind of things, things that really do need to get done... And, guilty of associating with the right kind of people, the kind of people who do the right kinds of things because they are the right things to do.

Now, it's off to bed... and, finally, some rest!

ARRRRGGGGGHHHH!

I hate to keep whining about traveling, but it’s been a while since I’ve found myself a prisoner of the airlines; my time and my life in the hands of a TSA agent who decided I appear to be more of a menace than the scowling, beady-eyed Mullah with no visible body hair going through the line just ahead of me. Maybe, I’ve lost it… Maybe, the blessed interval in between flying fifty to a hundred thousand miles a year and the more than a year and a half I took off was enough to dull the pain and allow the horrid memories to evaporate. But, it just seemed harder somehow this last trip.

Maybe, it was the early morning flight: one leaving, and this morning’s absurdly early flight home (Yes, I was the one who made the reservations so I really don't have anyone else to blame.). Or, it could have been the different nature of the engagements altogether. Who knows…

Normally, I fly on Fridays to present a six or seven hour seminar on Saturday (during the day), have dinner and then head home early Sunday morning. I know – I spend more time on the road, at the airport and in the air than wherever it is I’m working and for the most part, I was OK with that. It was the compromise I decided I could live with between helping other shop owners avoid the same mistakes I’ve made over all these many years and “sticking close to the knitting” with regard to my own automotive service business. And, for a very long time it proved to be a good model.

This time I flew out early Monday morning to be in the Greater Philadelphia area for an hour-long presentation Tuesday evening; repeated again the following night, a couple of hours down (Or, was it ‘up?’) the Interstate, in another community; followed by a long drive to the airport; and, a ‘first flight’ out this morning.

Normally, I wouldn’t complain. Especially, since both presentations were received very well by capacity crowds of shop owners who were dialed in and right there with me both nights! I was happy… REALLY happy! My host was happy… The shop owners seemed happy… Everyone was happy...

But, right now, I’m sitting here at forty thousand feet, traveling at over five hundred miles an hour, wondering why I did it and whether or not I should even consider doing it again.

It could have been all the “stuff” I left on my desk in the rush to get out Monday morning, like the laptop's charger and the USB tether for my Blackberry that I found myself searching for frantically Tuesday morning. All of which I had to replace almost instantly (Let's hear it for the Best Buy just down the road from the hotel!)!

That was the bad news. The good news is that after purchasing a universal assortment of each accessory I can now charge any… And, I mean any… laptop computer made by any manufacturer in the known universe and connect to and transfer data to or from any phone or PDA made today – If we’re traveling together the next time you’re out and you need either, just let me know!

It could have been finding the only Starbucks I have ever patronized that DIDN’T have WiFi available and then struggling to find a location that did.

It could have been the long drive back to the airport hotel, followed by a mid-night treasure hunt for someplace to purchase fuel Wednesday night instead of frantically searching for a gas station at 0:Dark:Thirty in the morning (translate 0:Dark:Thirty as in before 5:00 A.M.) which somehow led me to the Sports Complex five times no matter where I went or where I tried to go!

After this experience I can tell you one thing for certain: there isn’t a hell of a lot going on at the Sports Complex at mid-night!

It could have been getting pulled out of the security line… again!

Whatever it was, it has gotten harder. It is more difficult. And, it isn’t as ‘pleasant:’ if pleasant is a term you could ever use to describe business travel, as it once was.

Nevertheless, despite all my bitching and moaning, I probably will do it again – maybe, not as much. And, maybe, not as often – but, I will find myself headed to the airport too early or coming home too late, or going back to work at the shop too tired, from a trip very much like this one because I love the teaching/sharing/interacting part of what I do. I love the shop owners I do it for as well. They are a very special group: another ‘endangered species’ on the verge of extinction that has no idea how much trouble they are in or the dangers they are facing.

What I really love and appreciate are the companies that host presentations like these regardless of who the presenters might be or what they might be presenting. They take profit dollars out of their own pocket to ensure their customers get the education and training they need even when those very same customers don’t necessarily understand how important it is or much they need it.   

I’ll probably do it again because I’m addicted to the sparkling moment of awareness that occurs every so often: the light that goes on in the eyes of someone sitting three rows in front of you on the right. Or, the guy on the left in the back that is struggling to get every word down on paper because he knows that there is something in there that has the potential to change his life. Or, the shop owner and his thirteen-year-old daughter who is desperately trying to figure out how to get the help he needs before he burns out, implodes or self-destructs.

How can you not go out when you feel you have something to offer?

Despite all the pain and inconvenience, I wouldn’t believe me if I said this was the last time. I know my wife won't. 

So, I guess the real question is why should anyone else believe me?

Life Is What Happens...

Do you know what happens when you've had a difficult week, you're up later than would be considered prudent, you're really tired; and, angry just in general - you hit the wrong combination of keys on the keyboard and the five or six hundred "perfect" words you've just written disappear just as the software decides to "SAVE NOW!" 


Do you know what's even worse? How about trying to reconstruct or, better yet, remember; what you've just written! Bet you can't do it... I know I couldn't: not last night, not this morning, not this afternoon.


Now, we're another day deeper into the first month of the second decade of the 21st Century and I still can't remember. Although, I'm sure it had something to do with doing too many things at the same time, being up later than would or should be considered prudent, being really tired... Especially, when there is a full moon to contend with! 


Essentially, that's the problem. I start each day with a list of things to do - if you asked my wife, she would tell you that my problems begin with that list, because it is unreasonably ambitious. I go over the list in my head trying to ensure it is, in fact, reasonable: reasonable, as in possible. I write everything down. And, then I head for work with every intention of working my way through the list: every intention of following the plan. But, I never do... 


It's not that I don't try. I try very damned hard most of the time; sometimes when I don't really feel like trying. And, there are days I get closer to successfully working my way through that list than others. But, to tell you the truth I'm not sure I've ever actually gotten through a whole one. At least, it's been long enough so I can't remember finishing if I did. 


Someone with the brains G-d gave a duck would think about building a shorter list: a list not quite so ambitious. But, I guess I don't qualify. The best part of the whole story is the fact I've actually managed to 'shed' a number of responsibilities and was actually looking forward to living with fewer "To Do's." But, 'stuff' keeps bubbling up through the floor until my socks get wet and I find myself adding more stuff to an already impossible list.


When things begin to fall apart, as they often do I can hear my Grandmother laughing in the background. Her favorite saying, although it loses something in translation, was: "Man plans, and G-d laughs..."


John Lennon said it another way in "Baby Boy:" "Life is what happens when you're making other plans..." I think he should have said, "making ANY plans!" 


I'm starting to think it's just plain futile.


Oh, and before you suggest it's just a matter of organization - I'm not sure it is. In fact, I have a row of books on time management - although, I've never understood why they call it that. You can't manage time... It won't cooperate. All you can hope to do is manage yourself - in time. Consequently, it should be called "Personal Management." In any case, I've got a library full of books on the subject filled with systems and suggestions galore. I know how to prioritize. I know how to attack the most difficult tasks first. I get it! The problem is dealing with other people whose priorities, wants, needs and expectations differ from my own. Throw in a service business: a retail service business, and you know that my plans are subject to change at any moment based upon someone else's needs or wants.


When you own and operate an automotive service business someone else's crisis does justify an emergency in your world!


So, I wake up, plan the day, make my lists and try to force the day to comply... at least, a little. 


I make my plans and life happens. I make my plans... and, G-d laughs.


Let's see, what was it I had to get done tomorrow morning...