A Difficult Day...

Today was a difficult day... Actually, it wasn't today... as in: Sunday the 21st. Today was a difficult day as in: Thursday, February 17th - that's when I started writing this and the fact that it took four days to get it down on paper might suggest just how difficult it was!

Not for any special reason. Just, because...

It started out that way, and once begun, I guess there was just no way to effectively turn things around. Another day of re-acting, rather than acting. 

I'm not a big fan of days that begin this way. They result in far too much philosophical reflection as far as I'm concerned. And, realistically, I would rather be "doing" than "thinking" anyway!

There was no indication I would be sailing with the "Tidy Bowl Man" when I awoke this morning. In fact, I felt pretty good. So good, I decided to dine out for breakfast and a turkey sausage and egg soufflé at Panera sounded absolutely wonderful. Those of you who might be following this blog already know that eating breakfast out was a family ritual for more than thirty-eight years. It was the best way my father could find to keep the family in our family business, and it worked. However, since I'm the only Schneider at Schneider's Automotive these days, dining out has lost a lot of its significance and consequently, its appeal.

Instead of anxiously looking forward to the sense of community breakfast provided first thing each morning, I find myself eating out when being alone and reflecting on the last few days or planning for the next seems somehow necessary or more important than working out or sleeping in.

This morning was one of those "reflective" mornings... At least, it did until I found someone from the original breakfast club sitting down at my booth.

Please don’t misunderstand! I like this person. I really do! I just didn’t want company THIS particular morning and things just naturally seemed to go to hell from there. She can be a bit negative at times: Why am I doing this? I hate it! I want to retire… NOW!

That kind of negativity can be contagious and this morning, I caught it!

After arriving at work there were problems with suppliers, customers, equipment and technicians… just about my whole universe when you think about it. Even one of the dogs was limping when I got in: an open sore on his right front paw which meant an unscheduled trip to the Vet.

There was a time when me at the nexus of all of these things coming together would have been more than enough send me into the bathroom for a serious attempt to drown myself in the toilet, but the way things were going I was pretty sure it would just back up, and…

I think you get the visual.

That being said, I’m not the same person I was a number of years ago when my reaction would have been less than mature, or adult, or even appropriate.

Now, I just try to back up a little and reflect… Reflect on what just happened... Reflect on why it may have happened… Reflect on the role I may have played in causing it to happen… You get the idea.

Instead of internalizing everything, I try to back away at least a little and process it all with an: “Isn’t that fascinating…” Or, two. You would be surprised how much of a difference not taking these kinds of problems personally can really make on your day, especially when they seem to be occurring minute-by-minute and with frightening regularity.

What makes it all worse is being a professional technician by trade. I’ve spent my life ‘fixing’ stuff and problems like these fall into the “This needs fixing NOW!” bucket. The only problem is that not everything in the bucket can be fixed right now… As a matter of fact, not all the broken things you are likely to encounter can be fixed at all; At least, not by you!

You see, if it wasn’t ‘yours’ to break, it isn’t likely you’re going to be able to ‘fix’ it: I mean, really fix it! You may find a work around or two, but “Fixed?” I don’t think so! The people who broke it are going to have to fix it – and, that’s only fair.

And, the minute you begin to realize that a day that started out to be difficult can get a whole lot easier… And, it did!

Life Is What Happens...

Do you know what happens when you've had a difficult week, you're up later than would be considered prudent, you're really tired; and, angry just in general - you hit the wrong combination of keys on the keyboard and the five or six hundred "perfect" words you've just written disappear just as the software decides to "SAVE NOW!" 


Do you know what's even worse? How about trying to reconstruct or, better yet, remember; what you've just written! Bet you can't do it... I know I couldn't: not last night, not this morning, not this afternoon.


Now, we're another day deeper into the first month of the second decade of the 21st Century and I still can't remember. Although, I'm sure it had something to do with doing too many things at the same time, being up later than would or should be considered prudent, being really tired... Especially, when there is a full moon to contend with! 


Essentially, that's the problem. I start each day with a list of things to do - if you asked my wife, she would tell you that my problems begin with that list, because it is unreasonably ambitious. I go over the list in my head trying to ensure it is, in fact, reasonable: reasonable, as in possible. I write everything down. And, then I head for work with every intention of working my way through the list: every intention of following the plan. But, I never do... 


It's not that I don't try. I try very damned hard most of the time; sometimes when I don't really feel like trying. And, there are days I get closer to successfully working my way through that list than others. But, to tell you the truth I'm not sure I've ever actually gotten through a whole one. At least, it's been long enough so I can't remember finishing if I did. 


Someone with the brains G-d gave a duck would think about building a shorter list: a list not quite so ambitious. But, I guess I don't qualify. The best part of the whole story is the fact I've actually managed to 'shed' a number of responsibilities and was actually looking forward to living with fewer "To Do's." But, 'stuff' keeps bubbling up through the floor until my socks get wet and I find myself adding more stuff to an already impossible list.


When things begin to fall apart, as they often do I can hear my Grandmother laughing in the background. Her favorite saying, although it loses something in translation, was: "Man plans, and G-d laughs..."


John Lennon said it another way in "Baby Boy:" "Life is what happens when you're making other plans..." I think he should have said, "making ANY plans!" 


I'm starting to think it's just plain futile.


Oh, and before you suggest it's just a matter of organization - I'm not sure it is. In fact, I have a row of books on time management - although, I've never understood why they call it that. You can't manage time... It won't cooperate. All you can hope to do is manage yourself - in time. Consequently, it should be called "Personal Management." In any case, I've got a library full of books on the subject filled with systems and suggestions galore. I know how to prioritize. I know how to attack the most difficult tasks first. I get it! The problem is dealing with other people whose priorities, wants, needs and expectations differ from my own. Throw in a service business: a retail service business, and you know that my plans are subject to change at any moment based upon someone else's needs or wants.


When you own and operate an automotive service business someone else's crisis does justify an emergency in your world!


So, I wake up, plan the day, make my lists and try to force the day to comply... at least, a little. 


I make my plans and life happens. I make my plans... and, G-d laughs.


Let's see, what was it I had to get done tomorrow morning...

An Un-Happy, Happy Ending...

I'm not going to make the pool tomorrow morning and I'm bummed... Yep! Words I thought I'd never hear, let alone utter. But, it's the truth. I got a call from the accountant at a consulting/coaching company I work with and the only time we can 'meet:' he's in Maryland, is tomorrow morning at just about the time I would be climbing out of the pool... And, that stinks!

Not as much as the Tiger Balm... But, it still stinks!

Now, I've got to figure out how I'm going to get that time in the water back or what I can substitute that will make me feel as good when I'm done. I could go to Krav tomorrow night. That would certainly be a test of the shoulder/elbow issues I've been dealing with. But, I'm not sure I want to know how that particular test will be graded. And, besides, the last time I was in this kind of pain I worked too hard, injured myself too deeply and stayed away far too long.

The way things look right now, it's going to probably move in the direction of acupuncture and a good, deep tissue massage - great place in Simi for both, by the way.

It will almost certainly guarantee a 'happy ending.' But, it's just as certain it won't be the kind of 'happy ending' you're probably thinking of right now!

Now, it's a shower, a couple of pain relievers, a few hours sleep; only to wake up in order to drown myself in numbers instead of water...

Complacency...

There are few things in the world that get me crazier than average. Average drives me nuts!

No one I know strives to be average, at least no one I actually want to know or continue to have a relationship with.

Striving to be average is all about giving up, coasting, taking the easy way out, accepting 'good enough' as good enough. It's about complacency... accepting things as they are because doing nothing is less complicated and takes far less energy than doing anything.

I'm not talking about someone who is trying the best they can but can't prevail because of circumstance, limited opportunity or limited ability. I'm not talking about the people who can't do any better or try any harder... By definition, they are trying as hard as they can to be the best they can be; to do the best they are capable of doing.

I'm talking about the people who could make a difference, who could do better: but, after careful consideration, choose not to. Generally, at the risk of putting themselves or someone close to them in danger of some sort. They would rather work at 'getting by,' than work at getting better. And, I think what bothers me most of all about this social or cultural phenomenon is that it seems to be growing.

People come by the shop to take an order or solicit our business either representing themselves or other companies and they just barely manage to follow the script as if showing up was enough. They don't bring anything of value to the relationship, they don't create anything of consequence, they don't move information up or down the pipeline. Hell, sometimes they don't even say Hello!

I can't live like that. I don't think I would even if I could: could, as in allowed. I'm not wired that way and neither are any of the people I work with. They are constantly trying to learn more, get better, accomplish something significant, overcome obstacles, attain success. Now, they may choose to define success a little differently than the majority might define it. Their success isn't always about 'stuff' or money. More often than not, it's about that feeling of satisfaction that can only come from doing something extraordinary. And, extraordinary rarely occurs without a serious compliment of exertion.

I think the answer is not only simple, it's obvious. This level of performance - Or, perhaps, more appropriately - this level of non-performance, should no longer be accepted as adequate by anyone anywhere anymore. Complacency should be banished, and its practicioners and advocates no longer tolerated or accepted.

I think I'm going to give it a try... And, the sign at the driveway will read: Average No Longer Tolerated Here!

Have A Good Day!

How many times a day do you do you catch yourself directing someone you know or perhaps even a few people you don't, to "Have a good day!"

It's become a reflex, hasn't it... A smile. A wave. And, a friendly, thoughtless edict.

Meaningless.

What does it mean when something becomes meaningless, especially if it is a 'something' you yourself  are guilty of doing countless times a day! I know I just said it a few hours ago when the last person to pick up a vehicle before we closed paid their bill and started toward the door: "Thank You. Have a good day!"

Absurd!

No matter how you determine what a 'normal' day is, at 6:15 in the evening that day is just about over. There certainly isn't a lot of time left for something 'good' to happen. So, why bother suggesting it?

I could understand wishing someone a "good day" if we could all agree on what a good day looked or felt like. But, that hasn't happened... Has it? If it has, I must have missed it and I don't think I did. And, if that's the case, now might be a good time for us to give it a shot. What have we got to lose? Directing someone to have a great day would certainly be a lot more meaningful if everyone could agree on what it really meant to have one.

My son called this morning after he ran in the rain for an hour-and-a-half, and with his best John Wayne, declared that "A day without training is like a day without sunshine, Pilgrim!" 

Does that mean a day with training is a "good day," or at least the start of one? I'll bet it does.

If you are in business, is a good day a profitable day: a day where you have somehow managed to make a little more than you spent? It certainly would be "good day" in this economy! Is it enough to define a "good day" simply as one that hasn't managed to become a bad one? What do you think? I've experienced more than my share of days like that: days where just having nothing bad happen looked and felt pretty damned good by the end of the day! But, is that really enough?

I'll bet most of us have had enough bad days to recognize a good one if we came across one. It would probably have a lot more to do with content than with meaningless activity. It would be filled with more laughter than tears, more satisfaction than frustration. I'm sure there would be a sense of service thrown in for good measure. There would be at least a little appreciation, some recognition and maybe even the sense you actually managed to accomplish something that day floating around as well.

Maybe, that's what we're really trying to say. And, if it is, then we should just say what we mean...

Thank you! And, have a meaningful day! Thank you! And, have a rewarding day! Have a day filled with satisfaction and accomplishment, a day filled with love and respect! Have a day filled with people who make you laugh and smile, people you are genuinely glad to see and be around!

Now, that would be a "great day," wouldn't it! And, if you think about it, I'll bet it was!

THE WORLD BETWIXT AND BETWEEN...

I spend a lot of time in the uncomfortable world that exists between the real and the ideal… a world suspended somewhere between imagination and experience. Perhaps, too much time if I made the choice to honestly assess where I am and what I am doing at any given moment during the day or at night.

That isn’t to say I’m an escapist or that I’m not tethered tightly to the real world. I am definitely not an escapist. I’m not running away from reality. I’m just trying to bend it a little. And, yes, I am tethered to the real world: tightly tethered! But, that doesn’t mean I’m not thinking about ways that world could be or should be, either. Frankly, I think we should all be doing a lot more of that kind of thinking.

I'm a realist: a pragmatist. I have to be. I work on automobiles and trucks: or, at least, I did for most of my adult life. Now, I run an automotive repair shop... Or, it runs me! I have employees. I have responsibilities. I have kids: grown kids, but still my kids, nevertheless.

I am a senior contributing editor with two deadlines a month. In other words, I have all the real world anyone could want... or, handle. Maybe that's why I am continually drawn to the world of "Could Be" or "Should Be:" a world of theory, a world of supposition and conjecture.

So, you won't hear me complaining a lot. Nor, would I expect anyone to listen if I did. This is where I choose to live.

It is a world of books and magazines and articles and lectures and seminars, written and presented by a host of individuals, most of whom I’m not sure I agree with all the time: hence, the discomfort.

Why do it if it makes you uncomfortable? Well, because… Because, it forces me to think and by thinking I improve the quality of my living: the quality of my life, despite the discomfort. In other words, most of the time it is time well spent and proves more than worth it!

And, the pain? Well, the pain comes from continually trying to move the needle, raise the bar, in my industry: the automotive service industry. The pain comes from continually trying to explain the inexplicable to a motoring public with little patience and less interest; from trying to improve the current reality of shop owners and technicians in a culture that does not appreciate the important role we play in ensuring personal mobility and freedom, and reinforces the fact that I am still here, still alive…

Living between the real and the ideal does something else for me, I guess. It just about guarantees that I will never have to wonder about my existence… The pain is a constant reminder I'm still here, and the other side of that pain; the satisfaction and the joy experienced when you are successful and someone who has read what you have written, listened to what you have said, thought about what you have suggested, joins you in the world betwixt and between because they realize as you do, it is the bridge between the past and the present: a bridge between the present and the future! And, you realize, you finally have a little company!